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Category Archives: humor

It took the BET Awards to bring me back to full on soapbox mode and thanks to user Alisvideo over at Dailymotion.com for putting the video up so quick so that I could have visual for my blogging. Well I, along with everyone else in America probably, was expecting to see Usher joined on stage by Beyonce and Lil Wayne to perform the hit remix of “Love in Da Club”…no dice. We had to endure four or five minutes of Usher sliding around the stage doing what he always does best…dancing his ass off but really I was expecting the collaboration or at least the new song “Moving Mountains”.

Kobe Bryant won Best Male Athlete but wasn’t there to collect his award. Seriously, why do they keep giving him shit…he never shows up to receive it…didn’t he say he wasn’t black or couldn’t relate to black people(lol). Take the hint, You people stop giving that man awards

Jezzy came out to perform and was OVERSHADOWED by Kayne West on his own damn song…what’s up with that? Let’s just say, if he’s the snowman then the heat from Kanye’s performance melted his ass.

THE OH MY GOD…NO THEY DIDN’T moment happened when Keysha Cole’s mama, Frankie, and sister, Nephi, did the pre-commercial announcement telling everyone to call in and vote for the Viewer’s Choice Award. Nephi was literally about to fall out of the top of her dress. Seriously, it was about to be a full on frontal, while Frankie, who always appears half in the bag, was her signature rowdy self as she announced that her baby would be performing next but what mama wouldn’t be excited, I guess….

…speaking of half in the damn bag, what the hell was going on with Keysha because her performance was extremely lacking. I think she was having mic issues because she looked as if she were singing her little heart out but the volume just wasn’t there, as she stood there stood in her prom dress. But wait it turns into a skanky white short set for her performance of her hit “Let It Go”. She was hopping around the stage in stiletto boots about to trip over herself. Who didn’t see the Lil’ Kim coming…and what’s up with Lil Kim sporting the Kim Kardashian hips. Kim really should have grabbed one size bigger in the pants department. It looked like those spandex jeans were going to roll right off her fat ass and someone please tell her to keep her belly covered. She too old and too chubby for that shit. She can officially go back to calling herself “Big Mama” because that name would definitely stick to her fat ass now. On a good note for Lil Kim, she finally got her nose fixed and it looks spectacular!

Ne-yo gave his best Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal impression performing his new hit song “Closer”…but what else is new? BEST FEMALE HIP HOP ARTIST went to Missy who won and didn’t even show up! After BET had to do away with the category in 2007 due to lack of candidates, you’d think any female nominated would have shown up just in support of the category..but I’ve seen Missy at those “making of” specials and she’s always toasted. IT’S OFFICIAL!!! The BET awards are a J.O.K.E. The Dream won for Best New Artist…he didn’t even show up. If you don’t show up, then you should automatically lose you award. But what does that say about an award show when have of the folks getting awards don’t even bother to show up. You don’t see that shit happening at the MTV Awards.

Alicia Keys performed her latest song “Teenage Love Affair”. She sounded alot like an old school Michael Jackson from his Jackson 5 days. Her hips are as wide as all outdoors but she looked good even though her wig was a little to 1980’s for me. Halfway through her set she introduced a very “healthy” SWV by singing the first verse of their song “Weak” while they finished up their own hit before exiting the stage and making way for 90’s power divas En Vogue who still looked great(some groups age better than others). TLC, sporting those motherhood hips, joined Alicia to do a version of their hit Waterfalls, which brought all of our ladies from our favorite girls groups of the 1990s on stage for a finale of swollen hips and stretched vocals. It was great.

Nicey Nash brought this seasons newest accessory…white kids. Go out and get yourself one today! Nicey also introduced the Best Male Hip Hop Artist…Kanye West who in true hip hop fashion brought Lil Wayne to the stage and congratulated his biggest competition for selling a million plus albums his first week out. You could tell that even Kayne felt like Wayne should have won that award…and he should have, hands down, lol.

T-Pain paid a tribute to Bootsie…not really but he was dressed like him as he performed a tribute to himself, joined by everyone from Flo-Rida to Rick Ross to Khalid to Big Boy to Ludacris to perform a few of the hit songs he cameoed on this past year. All of this perform in front of a carnival background to prove that he’s a sho ’nuff clown.

Big surprise(not) that UGK won Best Video Award for Int’l Players Anthem. What kind of award show wouldn’t pay respects by giving the deceased artist an award? Not BET…they keep it real or at least they try to.

Not to be outdone, Chris Brown, hit the stage to sing his hit “With You”. He also won the award for Best Male Artist. He looks as if he’s in need of a serious haircut. The curly Nino Brown look isn’t working for me or him. The blogs will be buzzing tomorrow fueled by rumors about him and the surprisingly limber…well it’s not that surprising Ciara, but I can hear the talk of romance due to their sexy performance. Please bloggers it was just a dance and Rihanna look just as happy about the performance as Beyonce looked at the MTV awards when she pulled Jay-Z up on stage with her.

Lifetime Achievement Award went to Al Green. Tribute sang by Jill Scott singing “Still in Love”, Anthony Hamilton singing “Tired of Being Alone”, and Maxwell. Of course, Al Green got on stage and turned it out. I think he had a flashback of the 70s when he started singing “Let’s Stay Together” and “Love and Happiness”.

Lil Wayne after selling a million plus albums finally won the Viewer’s Choice Award. In all fairness, you couldn’t expect Wayne to really win anything. The man can’t drop a platinum album the week before an award show and think he’s gonna get a trophy. It’s not fair to the artist who really had to grind all year for that Platinum status. He gave a hot performance though…rapping like his freedom depended on it and in a couple of months it will.

Rihanna murdered her own hit (as usual) “Take A Bow”. She’s lucky that she’s beautiful with a hot body because she would NOT make it on talent alone. A good look for her, her rumored boyfriend Chris Brown sang along and knew all of the words….awwww how cute. Take that gossip bloggers, lol.

I appreciate that Nelly never wears a shirt. He was introduced by his girlfriend Ashanti. D.L. Hughley, who hosted, joked that he reads Mediatakeout too and wanted to know if “it” was true. Ashanti’s response: “I traded for something else because I got that good, good”. What the hell does that mean and better yet who the fuck cares? Nelly and Jermaine Dupri performed Nelly’s song “Stepped on My Js” and just in case you didn’t get enough of Ciara with Chris Brown, she was back with her legs greased up and spine bending for her cameo in the song. Fergie came out to help Nelly perform their song “Where My Party People At”.

CELTICS WIN BABY!!! Just in case you haven’t heard it enough! WOOOO!  TEAMwork, not just he efforts of one player (Kobe) helped the Boston Celtics crush the LA Lakers 142-91.  Damn…were the Lakers even playing!  I don’t get into the particular of sports but just had to express my joy over this one.

Here’s a Friday Funny from the popular Rob and Big Show on MTV.

Today’s Friday Funny comes courtesy of YouTube and is as cute as it is funny.

Dave Chappelle 1997 San Fransisco HBO special.

I should just start calling this segment the Friday Flashback with Dave Chappelle, but whatever. I like the guy I think he’s funny, so there you go. I’ll start looking for other comedian material next week.

Dave Chappelle’s appearance from Def Poetry Jam. What can I say when it comes to funny Dave Chappelle is still one of my favorites. Speaking of Def Poetry Jam, I have a poem for any super sensitive person who may come across this post and think about posting some “i’m offended” response. Here we go:

Jokes are jokes and should be taking as such

so if you are offended, I don’t don’t give a…well use your imagination.

Everyone enjoys a good laugh, so I decided to start posting what I will be calling “The Friday Funny”. I don’t have any idea what this guy is saying but the jokes translate to any language. If I had to translate then I would guess that this guy rigged a skeleton to a remote controlled motorbike and then had it ride up behind unsuspecting passersby to scare the crap out of them.  It’s been on youtube.com for awhile but I still think it’s funny. Enjoy!

Clumsy by Fergie

Yes, I’m back! The mind of Ms. Mills has been at a stand still for quite some time now, but Gawd it’s good to be back. The are so many topics that need my opinion that I hardly know where to start…but I’ll figure it out, lol.

I leave you with yet another annoying infectious tune from Fergie. She has the uncanny ability to make the stupidest songs a hit. It’s amazing! The truth is that she still hasn’t sung a song that showcases her true vocals. I appreciated her voice so much more when she sang with Wild Orchid but whatever make a girl a millionaire, I guess. Good for her!

I love Debra Messing, and couldn’t wait to see her new show The Starter Wife on USA network on Thursday night. The concept isn’t new, to be perfectly honest it’s just the rehashing of the ol’ ” older wife traded in for a newer, dumber one by a sleezy, selfish, self- centered husband”. I mean how many times do we have to see the poor good hearted loving wife being kicked to the curb for the skanky young tramp. There’s even the alcoholic friend whose older, wiser and drunker than the wife, the gay designer guy, who is loyal to the wife and is completely on her side and the friend who is caught in the middle because her husband is friends with the sleezy ex and is considered disloyal…oh and here’s the not so surprising twist, the disloyal friend’s husband has a fling with the nanny(she’s completely in the dark, of course). Just like any other show or even movie of it’s kind, she’s shunned by high society and becomes a social outcast overnight…now, didn’t see that coming…and there’s even the token black girl well-spoken ghetto girl, played by Anika Noni Rose and all I can say is I hope her part gets better, because I’m tired of seeing this character in every sitcom.

So, there’s nothing new about the show and no reason to tune in to watch other than the fact that I love both Anika Noni Rose and Debra Messing. Anika Noni Rose of Dreamgirls fame is also a Tony award winning actress and to see her playing a security guard named Lavender *eyes rolling*…well, I just hope her character develops into something more dignified or at least something other than the black service worker that the rich white woman seeks advice from…does that happen in real life. I’m not filthy rich so I don’t know. Well, whatever pays the mortgage, girl. At least the character is well spoken and a student at UCLA.

Debra Messing portrays her usual comedic tragic figure, but she seems to be born to play this type of character, so hey stick to what works. Her character is hit with this divorce out of left field or so it would seem. She admittedly doesn’t love her Ex and is more committed to her lifestyle than her husband. She cries…alot! But that is another thing Debra Messing is good at and playing a weakling, and right now…her character is sooo patheticly weak, but don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll become empowered in the next show or two.

…oh, oh I almost forgot…How could I forget? There is also the sexy mysterious hunk whose attracted to Debra’s character, Molly, but he’s not making any moves *rolling eyes*. At least in this one there is an older, richer, down to earth guy who is attracted to our main character…wait, wait…I think he kills himself (and stands her up to do it…how’s that for an ego booster) in the last five minutes of the show, at least that is what we are lead to believe…isn’t that the way…when it’s her turn to be the young tramp the old guy kills himself. What the hell does that say about woman over 40?

The commercials were full of encouragement, though. They were full of women 40 and over who were just drop dead gorgeous. You know the kind of women who if they said “I’m 41” you’d immediately ask who her cosmetic surgeon is or at the least ask for some serious I.D. Pond’s was the show’s main sponsor and was even used within the show…sybliminal messaging anyone…or is that strategic product placement? Every since Demi Moore became the new poster child for woman 40 and how good they can look, it seems that with this show Hollywood has finally started taken notice…kinda.

Anyway, the show is a welcomed break from reality tv. I’m so tired of watching real people do BS they’d never do otherwise that I could just…watch cartoons…which is what I do…hey at least they’re scripted. They’ve hooked me in with the promise of some interesting scenes next week..not new but interesting. You could pretty much write this sitcom yourself. The Ex is going to ask the young tramp to marry him, the wife is gonna get a new attitude and of course, there’s gonna be something wrong with the mystery man. I’ll give the show another week…who am I kidding…I’ll watch it until they cancel it next month and then I’ll return to longing for some more shows just like it.

I watch UFC fights from time to time and the fight between the Iceman and Rampage had been billed as the fight to see. Iceman on a mission, to redeem himself from the only three fights he’d lost in his career. Noble. I like the Iceman and I like Rampage (I think he’s a clown outside the ring, but a good fighter nonetheless) but the Iceman had won in the last two of three attemps to avenge himself against former losses. So, like any fight enthusiast, I watched the match and…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!

The Iceman bounced around the ring for almost a minute. WHAT! I mean, I was like “FIGHT ALREADY”. Even Rampage, was motioning to “let’s get it started”. And when the fight did start, it was over before you could get into it. Rampage popped him one good one, which knocked him out and then jumped on him and started wailing him out before the Refs ended the fight. People who paid money to actually go see this fight really got shitted out of a good match.

I can smell the rematch from here. Hardcore Iceman fans are gonna swear that he could have continued the fight,which is what the Iceman was whining to the Refs, but I saw it and he was clearly out of it. If they hadn’t jumped in Rampage was in prime position to wail his ass completely out. I keep playing it over and over and…yeah, he’s got knocked out…*replay*…yeah, he went limp and everything. It was quick but good ass whopping!

I expected more from the Iceman…I expected him to get his ass beat…but I expected it to be a hard earned “Ice” whooping!